Mazir and I got into a small argument this morning, and by argument I mean by me tersentak at how stupid men can be sometimes. About what? About the title above. Was he implying about ME? No if he was talking about me I wouldn’t be writing this now, I’d be planning his funeral.
So this is how it started..
He was driving me to work, I was trying to make Naia sit down still at the back when he suddenly said:
“Perempuan sekarang ndak pandai jaga badan lepas beranak oh kan”.
The words was slowly registering into me. Hmm? I heard myself answer back.
“I saw Phoebe (not her real name) bah yesterday, mengemuk sudah dia lepas beranak nie”.
I felt my ears burning, I had an Ally Mcbeal moment and hit his head to the steering wheel. Breath I thought. Breath.
“How do you know we girls don’t want to lose weight?”
“I’m not talking about you. I know you’re trying”
“Yeah I know, but I’m still fat. How do you know someone else is not saying the same thing about me?”
“I didn’t think about it that way”.
No duhhhhhhh. *rolls eye*
“Yalah how do you know she doesn’t want to lose weight? How do you know that she’s not breastfeeding. Breastfeeding lagi bikin lapar.”
“Ya bikin lapar kan”. *mimics in a very slow manner – he knows he’s about to get it from me*
“Yeah kamu pandai saja cakap kami gemuk, do you guys even help us lose weight? When have you ever offered to jaga Naia and say go lah exercise its okay? NEVER”.
“Okay okay. Forget about it”.
Honestly I had so much to say again after that, I didn’t want to just forget about it, but I didn’t want to fight early in the morning too. So I let it go.
I was really infuriated by it. How some people would just look at us women and think we’re just letting ourselves let loose. No self discipline. Not wanting to make ourselves look nice for our husbands or for ourselves even!
At the same time I felt malu that my own husband is such a shallow thinker, but then again how can I blame him. He’s a guy that sees appearance first in a girl. (Still a bit malu lah). Now I’m not trying to aibkan my husband or show his bad side or anything – don’t get me wrong. It just got to me that if my husband can think this way, I’m sure there are tons of other people that would think this way too! And I’m just baffled!
But they fail to realize that IT.IS.JUST.NOT.THAT.EASY!
I thought that after I gave birth, I would lose 10kgs after birth (I did, but I gained 20kgs throughout my pregnancy) and the additional 5-8kgs would be gone by the time I went to work. That didn’t happen, in fact I am still 7kgs heavier still (close to 8kgs but that 0.3kg means something to me).
I can’t go on a diet without killing my supply.
most women who are breastfeeding need about 500 calories more than moms who aren’t – that’s a total of 2,000 to 2,500 calories per day.
And do you know how friggin hungry a breastfeeding women get?? Yeah yeah, minum lah air kalau lapar. You breastfeed a child and let me tell you to drink water instead.
For some lucky women breastfeeding does help make them lose weight, but some unlucky ones like me, we probably wont be back to pre-pregnancy weight until we wean off!
*HIGHLIGHT: THIS ADDITIONAL BODY WEIGHT PROTECTS MOM’S ABILITY TO PRODUCE MILK IN CASES OF ILLNESS OR A SEVERE REDUCTION IN CALORIC INTAKE*
Now while I think that this is so amazing that our bodies are able to do that, I am also annoyed/ disheartened/ angry/ shattered (basically a lot of mixed feelings) to know that means it’s going to be harder and slower for me to go back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
You might wonder why Girl A was able to go back to pre-pregnancy weight while Girl B is still fat and huge. But what you might not know that maybe Girl A stopped breastfeeding, maybe she is supplementing, maybe she has helpers to help her take care of the baby while she goes to the gym, maybe she has higher metabolism, and just maybe we should stop comparing.
Its hard not to compare, I do it too, I compare myself to my friends that has gone back to their pre-pregnancy weight, I wonder why I’m not a unicorn that can just bounce back, but I have come to terms that my journey is different. I am still fighting to make sure my baby gets the best from me, and I just have to work harder to get myself back into shape.
Just for future reference when you see a friend/ colleague/ family member of yours that just had a baby (time varies okay. Just had could also mean 1 year after giving birth) and she looks ugly just stop for a sec and think.
Do you really think Girl B wants to wear only 2-3 tshirts out just because that’s all that fits her right now? That she would rather be fat and ugly with her tummy bulging out? That she has no conscience what so ever about LOSING WEIGHT?!
Argh. So annoysssss.
I’m going to eat a carrot now. NOT.
Canteen is serving ayam goreng, beef kicap and cabbage. Am gonna eat that with RICE.
From me that still has 7.7kgs to go.