My husband of almost 5 years and boyfie of almost 11. Many fights and laughter has been made throughout the years. Some days I feel like I’m the luckiest women on earth, and on some days after the 4th burp my husband make, I feel like stuffing a sock in his mouth. Seriously, is that just me? 😂 Kemon. I can’t be the only one.
I do find having to maintain our relationship after having Noah more challenging. Having one was like, ah we can do this. Sap sap soi. Two was like, let me breathe a bit. “Here. Look after the kids for awhile”. *hide in the toilet for half an hour*.
How do you guys maintain that spark with your partner? Just 10 minutes ago I was feeling exasperated ‘coz Naia kept asking me to layan her while I was trying to have a conversation with Mazir.
Like let me talk to my husband will you? How to divide your time? At night you say? Yeah. The second you kasi tidur your anak, tepuk-tepuk last last kita juga ikut tertidur. Know know besok pagi already and you’re about to be late for work especially if you wanna stop by and get your coffee.
Recently Mazir was telling me about this Netflix series he was binge watching. Which led him saying, “That’s why mau keep the spark alive. But tulah susah juga kalau kahwin nie tiada anak”. Okay – before I continue, him saying this is no way and directed to offending people that have been trying. It’s just Mazir being Mazir. Porgipe him kay. Okay. I continue.
My ears perked up. “What makes you say that?” Mazir looked at me. This guy has been with me for almost 11 years, he knows now I’m about to start a debate. I could see the regret in his eyes for even mentioning it. “Ndak lah juga..”
“No no. I just want to know your opinion”. You’re saying kids can help save marriages. How?” More regret in Mazir’s eyes. Mazir hates debating, let alone have a deep intense discussion. Okay fine, I can get a tiny bit intense when I’m defending my arguments. And Mazir? He hates it. He just wants to end it the second he sees I’m lit.
“It’s just different when you already have kids”. was his defense. “Okay. But isn’t it harder to keep the spark when you do have kids? Sudahlah susah mau have intimacy, susah mau talk about things. And most of our focus is on the kids. We need more work to keep the spark with kids. No kah?”
“Ya juga lah”. I could tell Mazir wants out of this conversation. He was desperate to get out. Noah was climbing on top of him. He was balancing Noah while hoping I would just drop this and hoping his “Ya juga lah.” gives me satisfaction. I sighed. I let him live. It didn’t give me satisfaction, but he lived. I swear I could have gone on and on but let’s pretend I was satisfied.
I, no way feel that kids hold a marriage together. It does however make it harder coz now more effort goes into the relationship. But to a extend I think I do understand what Mazir means. Some people will be willing to stay for their kids.
What say you guys?